Aviation


28
Jul 08

They live…

and that’s the beautiful thing about an airport. One hundred thousand lives converge under a single roof.

It can be seen in the smallest of terminals, from Hot Springs, Arkansas; to Seattle Tacoma; to Sydney, Australia, to Chicago O’Hare. Humanity at it’s fullest. Some stand tall. Some slouch. Some cry, some mourn, some rejoice. All live.

It wasn’t until I saw a mourning widow and a doting mother sitting next to each other that I realised that all humanity is in the terminal at my airport. I see everybody waiting for my planes. Some people travel to weddings, others to funerals. Both exist in the purest state of emotion, and neither more strong than the other. On my plane I have had new grandmothers, and I have had soldiers; those without rank and Generals. I have had the US Secretary of the Treasury on my plane, and I have had African refugees. I have carried divorcees, and newlyweds. I have taken people to rehab. I have shook hands with those who just graduated from college and those who are on their way to hug those who are about to. All of them live.

Some peoples’ lives are just beginning; others still, their lives are falling apart at the seams. Some feel as if they could go forever, others hope that forever isn’t real. Some just try to make it through this day… this minute. Some hurt. Some Smile. All live.

Some people have someone waiting to pick them up on the other side. Some of them will wait for a cab. Some will get sick. Some crave turbulence. Some cry when they think about their lives. Some laugh. I smile.

Some will be dead tomorrow. Some carry cancer. Their cargo is my cargo. Some carry lifesaving organs. I carry lifesaving organs. Some carry guilt and some carry confidence. I carry both.

Some are angry! Some are tired. Some bring those stupid U-shaped neck pillows. Some need seat-belt extenders, and others carry their car-seats. Some parents carry their children, and some children carry their parents. I carry them all.

It’s in this beautiful tapestry of humanity that I rest assure that nothing has happened, or will happen in my life that hasn’t already happened to someone else. And because all these people breathe right now; all these people carry on, they carry me.


12
Jun 08

A Multitude of Gifts

There are two things that routinely happen in my life that would probably be considered unhealthy in anyone else’s life.

First off, I get text (sms) messages at all hours of the night. I got a message this morning at 3:30am, “hey dude, wut r u doing? where r u? i hope your CA isnt a douche. fly safe. l8r.” Which roughly translates into, “Jack, I’m stuck in Memphis and I am getting on the van to the airport. The hotel here sucks. I know you’re working standups and likely you’re up to read this. Where are you? Salt Lake City right? I hope the Captain you are flying with isn’t a douchebag. I’ve flown with that guy. Watch him like a hawk. Later.” How did I get all that from one message with 125 characters? Some were appointed to work miracles, some given the gift of healing, still others speak in tongues, not me, I read text messages like a mo-fo.

Yeah, yeah, blasphemy. My other gift. It’s delicious.

“Blashphempy, It’s Delicious”
Colbert/Ensor 2008 campaign slogan

Anyway, the other thing that I can pull off is having a beer at 0645. There’s nothing quite like the having a Bud Light at watching the sun come up. It’s the perfect way to go to bed really: a Yoplait and a Bud Light. I prefer the apple turnover flavor (yogurt not the beer). It’s funny because, just as I’m polishing off that beer, Katie’s alarm goes off and she has to get up and fly to Edmonton or something like that. Not me, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been up for the last twenty-seven hours. I’m going to bed. That is after I send a text to my BFF CA Dave who got roped into a standup in Eugene last night. He’s probably just finishing his beer too. Bottoms up.


8
Jun 08

The Moons Over Harrisburg

I have been asked now by several people comment on the Pinnacle Airlines’ Crewmembers who ended up naked in the woods of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania two weeks ago. It’s really a hard thing to comment on. Not because the subject is particularly difficult to discuss, but because I cannot type it with a straight face.

For those of you who don’t know exactly what happened, I’ll give you a brief rundown of the story. Basically, a pilot and flight attendant were found naked and drunk in the woods in Harrisburg. Uh, wow, yeah, it doesn’t really need all that much explaining does it? But it does make you laugh. If it doesn’t, well, you need to lighten up. To me, the thought of a pilot hiding behind a tool-shed, with nothing but his flip-flops and wristwatch on is hysterical. Funnier still, how do you lose your naked flight attendant? I mean, that’s pretty inconsiderate. I always make sure that my flight attendants make it back to the hotel. That’s just being a team player. No man/woman left behind right?

What’s even funnier to me is that the one with some sense of ingenuity, the woman of course, is now being charged with theft because she “stole” a flashlight from a local’s truck. I mean she lost her clothes in the dark woods in Harrisburg, PA and she was all alone. Cut the poor girl some slack.

Honestly though, I do feel for these two. Really, I have flown into Harrisburg no less than a dozen times. I must say, it is one of the most beautiful places in Pennsylvania. I wish that I had been able to spend more time there myself. If I had had more time in Harrisburg and had had a decent crew, I would have gone exploring myself. I guess some people just take becoming “one” with nature to a whole other level. I’m sure that’s all this was: appreciation of the Earth.

Unfortunately for my friends at Pinnacle, their company has suspended them pending an investigation. Though it seems pretty simple to me, I am willing to bet the company ousts them for perpetuating a stereotype, but moreso than that, perpetuating a stereotype through the Associated Press and not fewer than thirty other network news sources. You really can’t paint a picture better than that. I surely hope the company doesn’t can them though. It would seem, to me anyway, that anyone flying Pinnacle Airlines could expect to have a good time. At least the most fun you can have with your clothes on…or not.